The Expendables: Movie Review

This is the day the Lord has made and this is the day where everything blows up to smithereens because "The Expendables" has just been released. No action movie this year excites us more than "The Expendables" (and this is probably true to a majority of us Earthlings) as it joins together old and new heavy weights of the action genre in a one and a half hour package. It really boggles us to insanity how they were able to accomplish this feat. We do have our doubts though too as having too much of anything may turn out to be the poison pill. There is just the big risk of complacency especially with them knowing that people would still lineup given the names of the actors alone. Would "The Expendables" be an all brawns-no brains affair? Read on to find out our opinion (Spoiler Alert Ahead!).

The Expendables are a group of for-hire mercenaries led by its leader Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone). One day, the group receives a mission from a guy named Mr. Church (Bruce Willis). The task they have to do is to kill the dictator of a South American island. Barney soon discovers though that their actual mission is only a cover for a deeper and darker plot which prompts Barney to cancel their deal with Mr. Church. But when the life of an innocent girl is at stake, the group is forced to make a difficult decision - to return to the island and save her or to completely forget about her and let the girl suffer in the hands of the enemy.

We really could not believe what we saw with "The Expendables" – pathetic may even be the kindest word we can choose to describe the movie. Our theory is that no other company in their right mind would get once number one action superstar Sylvester Stallone at his age and form now, that’s why he chose to produce and direct a movie where he is the star. His desperate attempt to look like how he was twenty years ago was just not believable. And did anyone else notice how he’s starting to look like he has gone through a couple of facial surgeries already - similar to the late Michael Jackson?

The worst part about the movie is the totally pointless story. Spoilers here but we just could not get the point why they would all risk their lives for a girl that Barney had just met and had a hour interaction with. They all were not in it for the money anymore and the girl was not even really that pretty. Could it be that they spent too much on the talent fee of the rest of the action stars that they no longer have a budget to find a more beautiful woman? Even though it looked liked a jam-packed action movie, we found ourselves fighting back sleep. Not to mention, the action scenes were pointless and totally unnecessary - special mention is the really forced (and haphazardly edited) car chase. Jason Statham was the best amongst everyone and we felt that Jet Li should not have accepted the movie at all. He’s such a huge star but he was forced to look like a short, lame and sissy man in the movie. It is pretty much safe to say that you can save your time and pass up on this one. Don't be scammed by the all-star cast as this is definitely the biggest disappointment yet in 2010. Honestly speaking, this early, we can hear some Razzies being awarded already for "The Expendables".

Rating: 1 reel

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  1. i think the movie was awesome, no need to go over the top slating it. it was meant to be a bit of fun and on that level, it delivers

  2. this is just a so so movie, it an all star cast movie but in some part kinda boring. Maybe I just expected too much from this.


  3. This movie was everything I expected it to be. It had enough of a plot to put all these actors in the same film. If there was anymore plot than what was there, than it would not be reminicent of the late 80's early 90's films that it was supposed to immitate. I think you were looking for a masterpiece of film history, but what you got was a masterpiece of film badassery. I put a win in Stalone's box.

  4. Barney wanted to save the general's daughter because of what the tattoo artist told him. The tattoo artist told Barney that he regretted not stopping a girl from committing suicide. He felt that, after all the lives he had taken, he should have saved one. Barney felt the same way, and so he went back to the island to rescue the general's daughter.